By an Idiot | Episode 13: Sayonara


Good evening, denizens of the asylum. Tonight is my final broadcast, at least for some time, and I cannot help but feel a weight in my heart as I say goodbye to all of you. All good things must, in the due course of things, come to an end; a time to be born and a time to die, and so forth.

You may think it strange, my leaving you now, after spending almost three months touting the benefits and pleasures of this little hideaway, this pleasant retreat, but I assure you, it is from the good I have gathered here that I now am able to leave it. Dr. Agonson may not agree, but I am ready to—but I must—revisit the world.

It was not easy coming to this conclusion; I longed to stay with all of you, but in my sessions with the good Doctor, I noticed a theme developing. He time and again encouraged me to face my fears. You may recall that this all started for me because a certain vampire haunted my home, and I, to save my own life, kidnaped and coerced children, bringing them to that dreaded blood sucker that he would spare me.

Now Dr. Agonson, of course, disbelieves this. He thinks my story is all part of some dissociative narrative to ease my conscience of my crimes. He cannot believe in vampires, but that is only because he is sane. Yet even with that simplistic, untwisted perspective, some truth can come from him. I have been hiding, running away for so long, and now I must leave, I must go out and face the danger. I can only thank Dr. Agonson for illuminating these facts.

Now, for anyone else wishing to leave, they will find the orderlies somewhat indisposed as a veritable cocktail of pills and serums was added to their evening coffee. I will now be making my way to the bus. Please have your tickets ready.


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